This Girls big Change

I know, its been a few months. My apologies.

But time went fast. Once kindergarten started things became a blur.

In September I had a meeting with Jane. You all remember Jane?

Jane the mistress.

Jane sent me a message apologizing for her role in the break up of our marriage. We met, and that will be its own post later, but she informed me that there was another woman. Another woman that Dick and Jane worked with that Dick was dicking with. (I'm kind of having fun with Dick and dicking and dick...)

So all his apologies, all his 'I feel so bad I hurt you's' meant nothing. Then October came and I saw way more of Dick than I wanted to.

October has three birthdays and Halloween. Each time I saw Dick I had to focus on controlling my anger. All of our family was awkwardly around for all the birthday's wondering what was going to happen...and nothing did. We kept ourselves in check and the birthday's went fine.

We even took the girls trick or treating together.

Yes. Rub your eyes and reread that. In the interest of our girls we took them trick or treating together and again, it went fine. But my ability to cap my anger at him deteriorated with each encounter.
He said a great many things that made me bite my tongue but the one thing that let the cannon lose was "I don't understand why your so angry?"

Really? REALLY?

As it turns out, according to Dick, the issue of his infidelity is over and we have moved on.

Yup, that's right. The issue of his infidelity is over and we are moving on. There were hours of texts between him and I because I couldn't actually believe that this would be over because he just said it was. 

It may be years before I recover from his violation of our relationship and family. And then I had to remember a crucial point. 

Dick is a narcissist and you cant apply common sense to a narcissist. It will drive you crazy. 

So I told him I can no longer talk to him. Period. 

November was pretty quiet. 

In early December we had a divorce mediation. It failed. He expected me to sign the divorce that day, even though I expressly told him that I was not going to sign until I had time to process had have my say. He walked out of the mediation so angry he refused to talk to our daughter for two days. 

I have spent a lot of time doing this

And some time doing this 

And little bit by little bit I am recovering. I have started freelance writing...which is scary for me. But exciting too.

I also started a separate blog So You Married a Narcissist because there is so much involved with narcissism and it is so hard to overcome their manipulation this part of my life needed it's own home. 

And soon, very soon, I will start selling some crochet artworks. 

As you can see, I have been very busy, but I have been dedicating myself more to my writing...and there will be more soon...