I was told this week by Dick, my ex, that I am a rotten person because I don't want him to be happy.
Well that's not entirely true. I don't care if he is happy or not. I really don't have the energy to spend on his well being anymore.
I was told this week by Dick that I am a bold faced liar because I had been telling everyone that he had been having an affair for six months with Joan. He admitted only he slept with her once before our separation...after spending two weeks denying the whole affair.
I was told this week by Dick that I was purposely trying to turn his family against him by spreading these bold faced lies. In reality I have been asking his family to be there for him. I told his dad when I filed for divorce and he should call Dick to check in on him.
It was a long week. Dick's family gathered to bury his mother at sea. I did my best to be above reproach and help the family move on, it was incredibly hard. So much happened that it took me fifty minutes to explain it all to my girlfriend. She talked for two minutes, but otherwise listened.
After his admission of the affair yesterday I asked if there were other women and his answer was a weak and vague no. So I am certain there were others. Today a friend told me that Dick was seen in bars making out with other women and trying to pick them up while I was at home in my third trimester taking care of our other two.
He was tonguing women in bars while I was at home. I cant even begin to express myself. So it must go back further. For years, I am sure.
The saddest part of all of this is he gets to go have his jolly's and I get completely screwed.
I have lost nearly everything. I have my beautiful girls and that is it.
I have no money.
I will lose my health insurance.
I am living with my parents.
I have no job and I am forced to get one, which brings me to the biggest hurt of all.
He has robbed me of what I have really wanted to do. Be a stay at home mother to my three girls.
Dick will keep his job.
Dick will keep his insurance.
Dick keeps his stability.
Dick get to keep sticking his dick where ever he pleases and bring his women home to meet my girls.
Dick will not be punished for his infidelity, lies and accusations against me.
But me? I am a rotten person because I don't want him to be happy.
None of this covers the events of the week. There calls from collections because he hadn't been paying bills. He wants to spend more time with the baby, whom he wants a paternity test for because she has dark hair. There were outbursts and his attempt to misdirect toward me. Dick made my sister in law cry and I was invited to events and then uninvited.
It was a mess and I am not really prepared to boar you all with the details. Maybe next week.
